Baby update, very overdue!!

At a play one of our church teens was in.

Well, this has been a long last weekend and a long 9 almost 10 weeks. We have no guarantee's in life except salvation. We just need to trust the Lord, put our lives in his hands and He will do the rest.

So I had my ultrasound last Friday and we still can't see the baby. So what has happened is...

Somewhere between conception and 5 weeks the baby died and stopped growing (Cromozonal Abnormality) that is why we can not see it in the ultrasound. My Dr. said there is almost no chance of it showing up and she is now about 99% sure we will lose it. My hormone levels are very low too, which is a sign. When my body does get the hint and does release it, it will not look like a baby it will just look like a mass of tissue and blood. That is what my Dr has told me. It still is a baby regardless of what it looks like or what stage it died in. It is still my baby.

I asked her, "what if something did show up later?" and she said she would question medicine and have to go back to the text books and say" what happened? what did I miss?" It would be an amazing witnessing opportunity if that happened, but I'm not getting my hopes up. That may not be in His plan. So we are just waiting for it to happen. I'd rather not have a D and C. It just scares me. At first we were both very much against a D and C just in case there was a chance of it living, but now there really isn't much of a chance in our eyes anyway. We know God can do anything and give us a miracle if He so chooses, but we'd rather prepare for the worst and be surprised later. As we were sitting in the Dr. office my husband looked over and told me if I wanted to have the D and C and just get it over with it was fine. He didn't want me not doing it because of him. As long as we know it is dead and doesn't have a chance. I was thankful for his compassion and love at this heart breaking time. I love my husband. He is a wonderful man!!! I still want to wait a little longer for 3 reasons.

1. I so much want to be pregnant

2. I so much want a miracle

3. I'm scared of a D and C

We did tell our girls Saturday night which was so hard and painful. We explained that because the baby died it will make mommy sick and when that happens they will need to leave mommy alone and be very obedient at that time. I didn't want to go into too many gorey details with them. Their too young for all that.

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and love even over cyberville!!!

We are going away for Thanksgiving to see Jeremy's sister, Sarah and her husband, Bob and their 8 children!!! They have had their share of miscarriage's so I can't wait for a great big hug from Sarah who is more like a real sis to me than an in law. Right now our prayer is that if I lose the baby it not be on the trip there. If it happens while I'm there would be better than while we are traveling. Once again it is in God's hands.

I can not thank you all enough for lifting us up at this time.