Sick!!!

Out of commission with Strep Throat...

Jeremy has it now too...

We are heading up the Christmas play and it is the 21st, yikes!!

Please pray for us and that our kids don't get it.

Which one do you like?!!

It's that time again.....

Family Picture Time!

The time of the year you spend 3 hours on a photo shoot and get 2 good pictures because the kids decided today would be a good day to blink every time they say the word cheese!!!

Family Circle

I thought this was cute. Our friend was laying on the

ground and we all looked down into the lens.

Fuzzy Family Circle

Peek-a-boo

Unfortunately Heidi wasn't smiling, but I can't be too picky I have 3 kids.
I thought it was a cute idea and different and Hope added a lot to it!!

Vacation part 2

HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY HOPE!!!

The love of a sister

Singing.....

As soon as the song was done she reached out, crabbed the plate, pulled it in as quick as she could and blew out her candle. It was so funny. I thought she would either singe her eyebrows or have cake all over herself.

All except one, Josiah fell asleep

" What, we have to pray for cake?"

"Wow, a camera."

"Say cheese"

Wow, a purse and all the play stuff to come with it.

"Hello, Grandma?"

All decked out and ready to go

"Ok, this was nice but I'm outta here."

"Wait, let me call my limo driver."

"Yup, that's right boys. Aunt Ellen got pictures of you playing with girl toys!!"

Heidi and I took each others pictures.

What a bad day!!!

Well, I'm still grieving our baby. I'm trying to move on and cry to get past it, but as you all have heard before, "It will take time"! I don't cry as much as I should. I don't have time. We are now working on the Christmas play and it is crunch time. Yesterday, I wanted to cry all day, but we had rehearsal till 1pm and then my husband helped his brother insulate their house while I worked with a friend on sewing costumes. I cut and she sewed.


So, today we go to church. My brother in law Josh, teaches our SS class. He showed a quick clip called"the bridge". A Dad loses his son to save a whole train full of people and that got me a little and then later it showed a mom walk by with her baby girl... and that was it. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. The tears poured. I handed Jeremy my coffee and got up and Josh was standing at the door so he opened it quick. I was so embarrassed and wanted out.


I walked down the hall got some tissues and Jeremy followed behind. He held me and I sobbed and we talked. "I wonder what it was, what they would have been like, how their voice would have sounded." "why now, when I want a baby most of all, we tried for a year."


My sweet husband has no idea what to say. There is nothing to say. He can't fix it, just remind me God is in control and He knows best and it's ok to hurt and cry.


Afterward I waited for the class to pretty much clear out and went in to get my purse and coat. Josh was in the back and stopped to talk to me. Poor Josh, He felt bad and apologized, I felt bad and apologized. We both told each other not to be sorry. lol. It went with his lesson which unfortunately I missed. I was afraid to go back in and start up again in case he referred to that video clip. So Jeremy and I went to the auditorium in Pastor's class and sat in the back.


Josh said he was hoping it wouldn't affect me but was afraid it might. He gave me a hug and said he was sorry any of this was happening. Which meant a lot. He and Amy and all our family really have just been so understanding through it all. Josh and Amy haven't had a miscarriage but did have to wait 10 years to have their first child so they know a little about heart ache.




But in the wondrous words of my brilliant 6 year old.....


"Mommy, I know you're sad about the baby,but you still have us." Of course she made me cry again. I just hugged her and said, "You are so right. I love you so much."

Very Important Update

This is dedicated to all the babies that didn't make it.

I love you sweet baby Coverett. I'll see you in Heaven.

Well, I had the miscarriage. It's finally almost over.

It started slowly Friday morning (while we were black Friday shopping) and was slow and then Monday night is when it really happened. It was awful. We just got home from Walmart. We needed groceries. Jeremy and I were in the kitchen putting things away and I dropped the box of french bread pizzas and said "Oh my goodness, I have to go to the bathroom!" Well, the girls didn't pay attention, BUT, Jeremy knew. He came to the door to ask if I was ok and he could hear me crying. I said "yes, I'm fine." He asked, "Do you need me to stay home?" I said "No." It was at night and he was getting ready for work. He was leaving in 30 minutes or so we thought. I came out to the kitchen to help put more groceries away and he held me while I cried my eyes out. I said I wasn't in pain and he could still go to work, but he wasn't thinking about the pain. He said emotional can be just as bad. I said, "It's just so real now. It's really happening. We are really losing our baby."



So Jeremy called into work and they were more than understanding.We talked to a nurse friend of ours and she said to called the Dr, because she didn't know much about it and if we needed her to take the girls to just call. So I called the Dr. to get more information having never been through this before I wasn't sure if I was losing too much blood. So she helped. Then we called my mom to tell her what was going on and she mention sending the girls right away because they don't need to be around. We really didn't understand why, but we thought well, if we have to go to the hospital they would already be taken care of. So Jeremy told the girls mommy's sick and they get to stay with MS. Cindy. They were very excited and ran upstairs to pack their bags. Then we called Cindy and said Jeremy was bringing them now.



I was once again in the bathroom so after I came out I went through their bags and changed a lot they had put in there of course. I wasn't dieing so I was determined to help my baby's as long as I could. I hate sending them away, but I knew they were in good hands. Cindy has 2 teen girls and they just love our girls to death. So as Jeremy is taking them to the van and they are getting buckled, I am standing in the laundry room saying bye and then ...WHOOSH!!! Oh man, what a mess. I was scared and yelled out the door for him to wait I had to call the nurse again. He knew something was wrong. So he locked the van and came in to check on me. The nurse said it all was normal, but I sounded scared and we can go in anytime. I told her I didn't really want to go unless I had to and I didn't want a D and C. I just wanted to check and make sure it was all normal. So she was again very friendly and helpful.



So Jeremy took the girls and I hopped in the shower and had the phone by the sink. He wanted to be able to call and know I was ok and hadn't passed out. He came home and I was feeling light headed and nauseous from the hot shower so I had to get out. Then I was cold and in shock and shaking. So I got dressed and he brought down a blanket and laid it on the floor and a pillow and covered me up. I said for him to lay it on the floor. I was not about to ruin my bed or our couches. At this point I didn't care where I laid I just wanted to lay down. So Jeremy was chatting with his sister who has been through many miscarriages and keeping her up on what was happening, reassuring him everything was fine. She said I should be losing the baby's sac soon. So Jeremy came in about 15 min later and said maybe I should check. I was so warm and cozy. Do you think I really wanted to get up, no way!! I did anyway. I got in the bathroom and...whoosh out came the sac!! Ruined pants number 2!!! I yelled, "oh man"!! Jeremy came running and thought,"I just cloroxed this bathroom 15 minutes ago"!! No, I'm kidding he really didn't say or think that. But he really had just cleaned the bathroom and now he had to again. So that would be one perk of being in the hospital. I was so thankful for my man that night. He was awesome. He helped me clean up, get in the shower again, get dressed again and laid me down again. We put in a movie till we fell asleep, but then all those weeks of depression and not eating caught up with me. I was so hungry!!! So I remembered we just got eggs and a boneless ham to slice for sandwiches. So Jeremy fried us some ham and eggs. They were so good.

In case some don't know or have never experienced it I had contractions this whole time. Some say it's cramping. For me it was real contractions. They felt just like my other 3 labors just not as strong. Of course I was on strong pain killers and I still felt it so it probably would have been worse. Anyway, after losing the sac it was instant relief and major fatigue. I was able to talk to Jeremy and he asked if I was not in pain anymore. I said, "No, I feel so much better just really tired."



I slept till 11:3o the next day. I could have slept all day. Jeremy brought the girls home. I was so glad to see them. They were glad to be home. My sweet Hallie asked if it was the baby that made me sick. I said yes, but I was feeling much better and God would heal me and we can pray for another baby. The Heidi came up to me rubbing my hands and said,"Oh no, mommy you're sick?" I said "no, I'm better now." She said, "Oh good."



God has blessed me with 3 wonderful, healthy children and I couldn't love them more. They fill my heart with joy everyday and I am proud to be their mommy. I am so thankful this whole thing is almost over and we can move on. I am gaining strength more and more everyday and not just physical. I'm actually making hot pancakes for my sweet ones and trying to get caught up on this mess of a house. It all got so backed up when we heard the news of the baby,(for me) life kind of stopped, but God brought us through it and I am so thankful for His strength and comfort.



To all you moms that have a baby in heaven and have gone through a miscarriage you have my love and now you have one more person who totally understands. I pray this never happens again, but if it does I know God will get me through it, He'll just have a harder time convincing me to try again and risking a third time. LOL!