Why so much Sadness?

I hope you all don't think I'm silly, but children need to grieve no matter what the circumstance. My girls have had a bad week and I'm afraid next week won't be any better.

This is our kitty, "Bob". He was a bob-tailed cat. His father was that way and he was born that way so we named him, Bob. It seemed fitting.

He loved his pillows my girls made for him.

He loved my girls and brought them so much joy.

He found silly places to sleep...


and made us laugh all the time.

He was a great playmate...

and didn't mind a little torture now and then.

He even loved to snuggle.

Unfortunately being a mouser isn't always good. Our neighbors keep rat poison in their basement. So we think he got a mouse that got the rat poison. Jeremy found him upstairs barely hanging on so we rushed him to a vet that was open. They could have tried to help him, but the damage was done and he was already having neurological trouble, and we could have racked up a $500.00 bill (that wasn't happening) so as we told the girl "We had the Dr. give him some medicine to take his pain away and Bob died. Their hearts are broken and they had their own little funeral today. I have been under the weather so I only got one picture.

This blog is for all the pet lovers. Love your pet while you have them. They are not "just" a cat or "just" a dog they are God's creatures and probably one of your children's best friends or as Heidi would say, "Bob you're my best fwiend."






THANK YOU, BOB!

On a more serious note I am almost 7 weeks pregnant. I am having complications and have had lots of blood drawn and many ultrasounds. It has been brought to our attention we may lose this baby. We were trying to buy a house, that fell through. Our kitty just died and now we may have our first miscarrage. Satan seems to really be attacking in any way he can. I'm staying strong for my girls. We don't know for sure yet and we don't need to upset them any sooner than nessessary. Things just don't look good. The Dr. can see the sac, but no baby. I have another Ultrasound on Friday. I will try to keep you all posted. Please keep us in your prayers. We only want God's will for us no matter what that may bring.

Look what we did!!!

I'm not sure how many of you know about our daily hair brushing episodes,but it isn't fun. Brushing Heidi's WAIST LENGTH hair is torture and loud. It tangles very easy no matter what I do. So a couple days ago I said, "I'm gonna just chop it all off!"

Heidi said with a smile on her face and tears running down her cheaks, "really!!?" The tears were because I was brushing her hair, the smile was because there was light at the end of the tunnel for her...maybe Mommy and Daddy will really cut my hair,hmmm. So the conversation continued.

Side Note: Jeremy loves long hair. We all were letting our hair grow for daddy. We love him.

We talked to her and told her if she got it cut it would take a while for it to grow back and she can't be sad about it. So we went grocery shopping Thursday after Gymnastics and I mentioned doing it then. So I went and checked to see if there was a wait. About 30 minutes after grocery shopping....

She was happy really, she just hates pictures.

Beautiful Golden locks any girl would love to have minus the tangles.

Hope watching on...

Heidi was so tired she yawned the whole time and was about to fall asleep

Sporting her favorite sparkly shoes from grandma and there's that smile!!!

it's in a pony tail for locks of love

And the cut...

trimming it up.

and there you have it.

A very happy tangle free 4 year old!!

ADORABLE!!!!!

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Congratulations Philadelphia!!!!!

No, we are not sports fanatics. We don't even get the channel the world series was on, but when your raised 45 minutes north of Philadelphia it's in your blood. That's my Home. I may live in Missouri, but I think my heart will always be in Pa. I remember sitting on the couch in my Grandparents house watching the game with my Grandpa. He was a wonderful man and died way too soon. He didn't even get to meet my husband. Just hearing a baseball game reminds me of those days. Those wonderful days when Grandpa was alive. Ahhhh, those days. I miss him. So my girls wore these hats (my Mom and dad bought them at the Phil. Airport) in honor of their Pop-Pop and my Grandpa who now resides in Heaven. I bet he'd be so proud!!

Yes, they wore them to church,lol!!

yeah, she wants you to think she's all sweet and innocent

It's nothin but an act people!!!!!!!!!!

To all the Pop-Pop's who love the Phillies, Congratulations!!!!!!

and Hope slept in the bunk bed for the first time, yay!!!!!

I'm sorry if this was corny for you all, but my family will love it. Thanks for stopping by. I hope I didn't scare you away,he he he.

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Baby Update

God is so Good!!

We have a lot to be thankful for. Our baby is just fine. No worries at all. Now of course we do not know what the future holds. Anything could happen, but from what the Dr's see in the Ultrasound and from my blood work everything looks great!

First of all there is nothing in my fillopian tube. The baby is warm in it's little sac and just fine. Second, I found out something interesting about the cyst. Hopefully you don't find this gross. I found it fasinating! It is normal to develop a cyst on the same ovary the egg came from. The cyst can act as the placenta until the placenta develops at the right time and then the cyst says, "well my job is done" and disolves leaving the placenta to nurish the baby. Also sometimes when the egg implants it self it can burst a blood vessel,( hence the bleeding). That is no big deal just scares you when you don't know what it is. And that is what happened this weekend. The Dr said everything is fine, but it is always best to go get it all checked out just to be sure.

So Jeremy and I came home with a little more pep in our step even though he lost sleep do to all this extra testing cutting into his sleeping time. He didn't care. He just wanted to be there with me. This all could have been just a test to see how we would handle it. I praised Him tonight in our Ladies Bible Study tonight and cried. Praised Him for my healthy baby and my sweet 6 year old speaking up and saying God knows what's best for us. Our children are learning and growing and I'm so thankful for that. Sunday night I went forward to pray and gave this baby to God. I was honest though. I didn't want to. I told Him. I want this baby to be born healthy. That was my hearts desire, but if that was not God's will then we would except that and love Him anyway.

Thank you all for all your prayers!!

God is in Control!!

My 3 blessings!!

This picture is old, but I really wanted to post something.

Well, the Lord truly is testing us to see if we really do believe that. This post is a bit long, but very important to us. So please take a minute, we need your prayers.

Our weekend has not been the best. As you know I am expecting our 4th child. I am 5 weeks and 3 days despite what my tickers say. I need to change them. I know this because I have already had an ultrasound. The sad part is it was in the ER. Yes, Friday night around 5pm ish I was spotting and it terrified me to my core. This has never happened to me before. I called Jeremy upstairs through the baby monitor and he said "from the sound of your voice I just knew". So we called his brother, they came to watch the girls and we went to the hospital.

After blood work, ultrasounds and a lot of other unpleasantness, we found out a few things. It is not a tubal pregnancy,yay! If the baby was in my fallopian tube (spelling?)I could bleed to death and would need surgery. They did just barely find a little black dot which is the sac/our precious one!! It chokes me up every time. I hate it when they call it that. It's not just a sac, it's my baby!! Nevertheless they found it and it was exactly where it should be and in the right spot and nothing else is around it that shouldn't be, yay! My hormone levels are supposed to be around 5000 and mine were 900, yikes! Not good. Not sure what exactly that means, but they didn't like that. I also have a cyst on my left Ovary. That shouldn't cause any problems as long as it doesn't keep growing and it could be the cause of the bleeding. Everyone keeps trying to reassure me that some women bleed their whole pregnancy and have a healthy baby, but I still don't like it.

So we left the Er with all this information and so many uncertainties and very broken hearts. We came home and sat down with our 2 oldest, Hallie-6 and Heidi-4 and explained very vaguely something could be wrong and the baby may not make it. My dear 6 year old asked me,"Mommy, what does not make it mean"? I said, "well, it means it could die". And the Holy Spirit swept over my dear one and she said with tears in her eyes, "Well, I guess if that happens the Lord knows what's best for us". Man, talk about conviction. Do you think that was what I was thinking? Do you think I was thinking that when I was going through all that in the ER and thinking my baby could be dead or I may be rushed to surgery so they can take my baby out so I don't bleed to death?!! No, of course not. I was being selfish and wanting to keep it and not wanting to be going through what I was going through at that moment even though there were so many other people going through far worse things than I. That night as we all sat on the couch and watched a movie before bed as we always do on Friday nights Jeremy and I held our girls a little tighter, kissed their heads a little more and thanked God all night long for what He has already blessed us with.

God puts us through things for a reason. We may never know why. It just matters how we handle it. If we trust Him. Do we believe God knows whats best for us?

Sunday nights I always take my girls to the restroom before the service... More spotting, cramping, panic, tears and uncertainty!! I sent them to our pew and found my Husband to cry in his arms. He took me home and we came back to church.

Well, I called my Dr. today to let them know what happened. They sent me for more blood work today and they want me to have another ultrasound tomorrow around 1:00pm ct. I called around 4:30pm for the results of the blood work. Remember those levels that were 900 and are supposed to be around 5000, well they are at 2,622!!!!!!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!

I was so excited! I know I'm not out of the woods yet. I could still lose the baby. I still have this cyst,but I have one awesome God who knows my every need, pain, hurt and want. He truly knows what is best for me and it took a 6 year old to remind me!!

I very foolishly thought a miscarriage would be no big deal. You're not attached yet being so early. You've never seen it. I was sooo wrong. Just the thought of the possibility hurts more than I could have ever imagined. Yes, I'm scared. I cry when no one is around. We've been trying for a year for this baby. The thought of telling my girls, "The baby didn't make it" hurts, because then they will hurt. They will cry, but no matter what happens, no matter what the Dr. tells us,

We serve an Awesome God and yes, He is still in Control!!!!